What could have been...

How do I really feel??

LORA: THANK YOU for being there so many times when I needed you. I love you like you're my own sister, and I really do hope our kids fall in love and then we'll be related and James and I can retire to your basement.

MAMACITA AND PAPASAN: Thank you for letting me grow up all those different times. I love you.

GRANDMOM AND GRANDDADDY: Thank you for letting me spend my summers with you and taking me out for hot fudge sundaes on my birthday. I love you, too.

TENEAL: I wish I was in Singapore with you.

STACEY: The day we spent at Wild Adventures with your family was the first time we truly felt like we belonged in Albany.

MELISSA N. AND GAWDUN: Has a temple trip ever been so much fun? I think not.

ERIN AND KATHERYN: Thank you for not holding it against me that I kissed your respective significant others in the past. ;) Let's all get together again this year, okay??

DEEANN (WHO DOESN'T HAVE A BLOG BUT SHOULD!!!): I will be mad if you don't come visit (at least for a day!!) this year.

DAVID, EILEEN, HELEN, RYAN, MATT, JED: Thank you for keeping me humble. I love you all.

MAMA V: Thank you for being my friend, and loving my kids like they are actually related to you.

BECKIE, TAHMI, AND MELANIE: Thank you for making James more than capable to handle life with three women.

ADRIANA AND ALISHA: In my book, you are both 15 cow women.

MELISSA G: Update your blog, woman! Tell me what books you are reading!! I miss talking to you. QUit being so busy, okay?? :P

AND TO EVERYONE ELSE: Thank you for listening to me and letting my voice be heard.

Lora is on a roll these days, posting all the time! I feel bad for my poor, neglected blog.

In other news, we got a dog the week after Christmas. An 11 week old mini schnauzer/beagle mix who we promptly named "Tulip" (in keeping with our tradition of naming our pets after flowers). But we call her Lulu. (But in my mind, I always call her Lulubelle Roman. I don't know why. I guess you have to be of a certain age and from a certain part of the country to get the Lulu Roman reference.)

I am the first to admit that while I like dogs, I am not a "dog person". Give me a cat anyday. But the other three people in the house seem to believe that *they* are "dog people" and since my vote is only one out of four (although I do have super veto override priviledges). We started talking about getting a dog about six months ago. We knew we wanted something small-ish and something that wasn't overly hairy. (Don't want to add to the cat hair, after all.) We kept an ear out, and our patience was rewarded when I heard someone was giving away free puppies.

I'm still not really a "dog person". However, what I am finding out is that I'm a "Lulu person". She has such a cute personality. And her face, OH THE FACE!! And the way she cocks her head to the side when she lisening intently?? OH FOR CUTE!!! I find myself using the most ridiculous voice with her sometimes. But I can't resist the face.



I mean, COME ON!!

The cats were not happy. Tigerlily showed her disapproval by leaving a dead bird on the floor in my bedroom. She then killed another bird and hid it BEHIND THE COUCH, which we had no idea about until we went hunting for a "weird small". But for now, Lulu and the cats have kinda-sorta reached a truce (Tigerlily and Lulu occasionally will share the bed in the evenings, with the cat on one side of me and the dog on the other). Poppy just takes refuge on the top bunk in the girls' bedroom, and occasionally I will find her leaning over the rail, looking down at Lulu as if to mock. It's kind of a passive-aggressive relationship, really.

So if you happen to be in the neighborhood, stop by and meet the world's cutest doggy-woggy pumpkin face.

Blagh

Have you heard about the cold weather blanketing the south? Yeah baby, t's cold outside! As thrilled as I was when we heard Sunday afternoon that school was being cancelled because of potential ice, I didn't believe it would come to much. Imagine my surprise when I woke up Monday morning and there was ice *everywhere*. We had honest-to-goodness icicles hanging from our roof! I meant to take pictures, but I took a nap instead.

Books, Reading, The New Year, Whatever

Tracy M over at Dandelion Mama makes a good argument for not making any New Year resolutions. I think I'm on board with this idea. As Anne Shirley said, "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it." Much better to aim for doing the best you can on any given day than to vow that *this* will be the year you ___________ (fill in the blank), I think.

I didn't mean to post my last post without any additional commentary. Oh well. Once again, I read a lot this year (118 New To Me Books, to be exact). That doesn't take into account re-reads or all the books I read at preschool. Looking over the list, there is a good mix of genres- lots of YA and Children's Fiction, a good amount of non-fiction, some romance, and even a few blogs-turned-books that made me laugh a lot.

Sadly, the "TO BE READ" pile is no smaller now than it was this time last year. I've toyed with the idea of saving up and getting a Kindle (to save on space), but I think I'd spend a fortune buying my old favorites in eBook form (so I could have them with me at ALL TIMES). Not to mention I think the girls would constantly be stealing it from me. Finally, I know that the temptation to get click happy over at Amazon would be too great. I already have a hard enough time resisting buying whatever I want, whenever I want because of my free two-day shipping with Amazon Prime! Oh, to have more self-control.

School starts back tomorrow. The girls are doing Beauty and the Beast this year, which makes me *VERY* excited. Practice starts in earnest on Thursday. James is building sets once again. Bella has several roles, and Madeline (as a Middle Schooler) is working crew. My job is to keep make sure everyone is where they need to be, when they need to be there, fed and rested. ( I will need to remember to do this for myself, too! :P)

Jennifer's 2010 book montage

Jennifer's favorite books »

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

It happens every year, just like clockwork. I've done my shopping (but there's still the wrapping) school is out (but I'm exhausted from all of the parties, crafts, sugar, etc) I've pondered the TRUE MEANING of Christmas (and gritted my teeth everytime some do-gooder pretends that Christmas is the only holiday celebrated in December and urges me to boycott anyone/aything who has the audacity to say "Happy Holidays") and now it's time for my Annual Holiday Meltdown where I want to scream to the world, "WILL YOU ALL JUST SOD OFF YOU UNGRATEFUL INGRATES???!?!?!??!?!!?!?".

*takes a deep breath*

*gets into zen mode*

*wonders if that is allowed when one celebrates Christmas, or is that not Christian enough of me?*

*doesn't care*

*takes another deep breath*

*thinks about my favorite Christmas songs, especially the rendition of "O Holy Night" that was sung at church yesterday*

*drinks some Dr. Pepper*

*knows the meltdown will pass in a few hours*

*feels better while keeping things in perspective*

Baby, it's cold outside...

No, really it is. 39 degrees with a windchill of 29. In the middle of the day. (And I know some of you live in other parts of the country where that's nothing. I don't wanna hear about it. Do you see me razzing you when you're sweltering at 85 degress and no humidity? No.) We usually don't see temps like this until January or so. The house is cold. I suppose I could go turn up the heater, but I need to start cooking dinner in the next hour or so, and the oven would heat up the house a bit. But I'm too cold to think of doing anything but crawling under the covers and taking a nap.

I haven't mentioned it here yet, but the chickens finally started laying eggs about three weeks ago. Happy day! I took pictures of the first eggs, but then they were accidentally deleted (along with 300 other pictures) when I let the girls use my camera. You'll just have to believe me when I say the yolks are a vibrant yellow, and they make the prettiest scrambled eggs, not to mention they taste yummy.

This is our last week of school before the holiday break. I am very, very happy about this. I'm especially happy with the way the break falls- a full week off before Christmas and a week and a half off after Christmas. This gives me time to get everything done I need to before Christmas, and time to recover after.

Sometimes I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. I suppose that's a feeling common to most women. I keep telling myself that I'll get it all together here soon. I'll let you know if that happens. ;)

I Have an Annoucement!

STAY TUNED....

It's not that I'm ignoring you, because I'm not.

Posting has been scarce here at Ye Olde Blog as of late, I know. Sorry 'bout that. But I'm doing a little blog revamping. It'll be exciting and fresh and new!!! (Kinda sorta.)

Keep a sharp eye on the horizons, mateys.

Today

Today, I woke up to the sound of James hacking up a lung. He's caught the hellacious cold I had last week, evidently. Given that I was woken up two hours before I actually needed to be awake, I wasn't exactly a happy camper. But then I remembered that today was Friday, and once today was over, I would be on Thanksgiving break.

Today, I went to preschool and helped transform my class into nine pilgrim boys and girls. We then trooped happily to the church fellowship hall and had a Thanksgiving Feast with the three year old turkeys and two year old Indians. A good time was had by all.

Today, I came home from school to find James feeling moderately better. He was feeling well enough to start on the approximately 87 loads of laundry that had piled up over the course of the week. As I as printing off a coupon for some Christmas shopping, I heard a high pitched whine coming from the washing nmachine, followed by a loud *THUNK*. It then sounded like we were attempting to wash 1000 nuts, bolts and screws rather than some towels. As the washer was still running, I asked James to take a look at things when the load was done.

Today, I left the house confident that my man would fix whatever was wrong while I went Christmas shopping for the girlies. Armed with a 30% off my entire purchase coupon and knowing exactly what was on sale, I proceeded to save almost $100. With the exception of stocking stuffers, my shopping for the girls is now DONE. GO me.

Today, I decided that after working so hard, I deserved a treat. So I made my way over to the nail salon where I let the nice ladies take care of my cracked heels, ragged cuticles and overgrown eyebrows. I even let the lady talk me out of my normal french manicure in favor of a very pretty dark red.

Today, I came home to fond out that the washer is caput. Bummer. Given that we bought it used for $75 almost six years ago (and it had been used by it's previous owner for over 5 years) we figured we'd got our money out of it. I remembered that we'd received a $25 coupon in the mail from Lowe's a few days earlier. I hopped online and found a decent washer that was on sale and in stock. We decided that we really didn't want to wait to find a decent used washer in the paper (remember those 87 loads of laundry? We had clean towels, but the underwear supply was running dangerously low.) Presto change-o, the old washer is out and the new washer is in. It's a bit loud, but I figure I'll be able to hear when it's all done.

Today, I was busy and spent a lot of money. But we'll have clean clothes again, presents under the Christmas tree and my eyebrows aren't a source of shame for the family anymore.

I call today a success.

Things Remembered

There are a lot of things I don't really do anymore now that I teach preschool five days a week.

I used to scrapbook almost daily. Scrapbooking was my main hobby for almost 15 years. I really enjoyed it, and I'm proud of the work I did. But I can't remember the last time I scrapped. Maybe two years ago?? Along that same line I used to make handmade cards. I'd give them as gifts or use them for Christmas. I haven't made my own Christmas cards since 2007-ish??

I used to love to cook and bake. I loved getting a new cookbook and working my way through the recipes that sounded good. Although I still love to read a new cookbook, these days I tend stick to our tried-and-true favorite recipes, and if I need something new I consult The Pioneer Woman or Nigella, who never let me down.

I used to blog more often. I've been blogging since 2004, and I rarely let a day go by without posting *something*. I don't stay up as late as I used to. I don't go out with friends as often. I don't play as many board games as I used to.

Some of this can be attributed to the fact that the girls are getting older. They have lives outside of the house, and I'm not the only one setting their agenda for the day.

Most of my creative energy goes into preschool. It takes a lot of planning to come up with crafts and activities for nine 4 year olds! The time I used to spend making Christmas cards is now spent helping my kids make presents for their parents.

The thing is, I like my work, even if it has taken the place of some of the things I used to do. A few years ago we had a new family move into our ward (they are gone now, and I don't even remember their name, so I don't feel bad about telling this story). I was talking to the husband one Wednesday night at church and I mentioned that I waught preschool. He said something along the lines of how glad he was his wife didn't have to work outside the home, because his job provided enough for the family. Bless his heart, I don't think he realized just how offensive that was. Not only was that a slam against me, but it was also a slam against James, insinuating that he wasn't a "good" provider if I worked outside our home. Stupid man. ;)

I choose to teach preschool. It fulfills me in the same ways those hobbies used to. Sure, teaching here in Albany takes up more of my time that teaching in Tifton did, and sometimes I wish I had more time to spend being creative *for me* or puttering in the kitchen, but I'm okay with that.

Most of the time.

This is all just a long way of saying I roasted a chicken with veggies and made homemade bread when I got home from school today, and it felt nice to be my "old self" for a few hours. Tomorrow it's back to Grilled Cheese and Tomato soup for dinner while I read a book. ;)

I wish it was raining today so I could title this post "November Rain"

Sadly, that awesome title will have to wait for another (non sunny) day.

I think our Indian Summer might have finally left south Georgia this weekend. There were days last week when it was in the mid-90's with crazy high humidity. How insane is *that*?? It about killed me. Today the high is only 81, and the low tonight will be in the mid-50's. This weather is bearable, but I'd prefer some high in the low 70's, maybe high 60's?? Is that too much to ask, Mother Nature??

I don't like to brag, but the girls looked pretty awesome for Halloween this year. You don't believe me?









A friend of mine gave me some clothes her daughters had outgrown. When I saw these dresses (which I knew the girls would never really be able to wear anywhere else) I immediatly thought of Halloween.

Madeline decided to be a 'Snow Queen' and Isabella decided to be an 'Undead Beauty Queen'. She wanted me to attach knife to her dress so it would look like she had been stabbed, but I thought that might be going a little too far. James took the girls around while I stayed home and handed out candy with Gertrude.



We have enough leftover candy to feed a third world country. It's not that I bought too much, it's that we were light on Trick-or-Treaters this year. James' crew at work will appreciate some of the leftovers, I'm sure.

So it's on to November. Three weeks until Thanksgiving holidays. Oh crap, I just remembered we have to pay our car registration this month. Why is your birthday so close to the holidays Jaws, why??

Speaking of Jaws, we've been asked to team teach the CTR 7 class at church. HAH! Can you believe that?? These are the kiddos getting ready for baptism! We're responsibe for making sure they know what they are getting into. ;) Who thought it was a good idea to let us teach that class??

Also speaking of Jaws, he just walked in the door, so it's time to eat some dinner.

Choices, decisions

Yesterday I made a decision and today I feel good about it. Six months ago I wouldn't have made the same decision- honestly, I couldn't have. I would have felt sick-to-my-stomach horrible about it. It would have been a Very Bad Thing for me. (Even though the thing the choice was made about isn't a bad thing at all. It was a good thing, but not a Good Thing for me at the time. If that makes any sense.)

So what's my point??

Sometimes you simply cannot choose to "just be happy" about any given situation. You can choose to deal with it in a mature, rational way, but you sure as heck don't have to be happy. You can set boundaries and say, "No. Not right now. Please don't bother me about this until I give you some sign that you can bother me about this."

As a woman of faith, I'm expected to "cast my burden on the Lord", even though it's really against my nature to do so because honestly, I don't want to bother Him and there is a lot of suffering out there. But too many people think this step automatically makes everything better. Sometimes things do get better, and you can be happy again. But sometimes things just get a lot worse and there's absolutely nothing to be done about except embrace the unhappiness and move forward.
It's downright unreasonable and more than just a little sadistic to expect people to *always* choose to be happy. Even Jesus wept, right?

But we also know that "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven" . My season is changing. I'm able to make different choices and decisions in this season. I feel excited, and yes, happy. Not necessarily because I have *chosen* to feel happy, but because I just am. I know the seasons will change again eventually, and I'll apply the lessons I've learned in this season of joy to get through the vale of tears.

In the end, this is my journey through mortality. I have my choices and decisions to make, and my journey won't look like that of anyone else. I find lots and lots of comfort in that.

My Fate is in Your Hands

I know, Sweeties, you've missed my blogging. What can I say? I'm a busy woman. It's a busy time of year for me. I've been helping Jaws recover from Gallbladder Surgery/Hernia repair. The chicknes still won't lay any eggs. The girls have lives seperate from mine. (The horror!!!) The days just blend from one to another and before you know it, a month has gone by.

But here I am to make it up to you! My mother is convinced that my BIG BREAK (into what, I don't know) is just a few blog posts away. Awww...it's nice when someone irrationally believes in your talent! I realize if I don't blog the moolah will never start rolling in. The conundrum that is my life! *sigh*

Anyway. So what would you like me to blog about?

My favorite cookbooks?
Why I think the grid system in Utah is overrated?
My signature fragrance?
My first roommate?
Why mushrooms are gross?
My Desert Island CD/Book/Movie/Etc collection?
The best medications I've ever taken??

THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER, PEOPLE!!! MAKE YOUR VOICES HEARD!!!!

TWELVE

 

I'm so popular!

I was getting ready to make a ginormous post about all the things we've been up to lately (birthdays! surgeries! more! more! more!) when I noticed that I have a new follower. How exciting is that??!!?? And even better, I have NO IDEA who he is! But my mama raised me with good manners, so let me be the first to welcome

Will Hiemenz

Now that you feel welcome, Will, do you mind answering a few questions???

Who are you? Why are you here? How did you find me? Do I need to be afraid for my life? Do you like it in the Tree Fort??

Schmoopy, schmoopy

Fourteen years and counting...

Gloom, Despair and Agony on Me

I recognize that my life is pretty good.

My clothes are clean.
It's 92* outside at the end of September, but I have A/C to keep my (somewhat) cool.
I've eaten three meals plus snacks today.
I have two working cars to drive.
My husband has a great job.
My children are healthy,
My cats are neutered so I don't have to worry about unwanted pets.
I have libraries and the internet to keep me entertained for hours.


But some days my inner critic just won't shut up, and all I can think about is the mistakes I've made and the anxiety I feel, and that inner critic won't stop yelling, "Hey Jennifer!!! You SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!" Today is one of those days. I feel like cussing. (But I won't because my mom reads this blog. And it would just give the inner critic more ammunition.)

It needs to rain. And get colder. Is 33 too early to have a mid-life crisis??

Monday Ain't So Bad

As I was driving home from school today, I realized that unlike most of the industrialized world, I really don't hate Mondays. Sure, I wasn't too keen on getting out of bed this morning, but I pretty much feel that way every morning. I realized that Monday is pretty much the only day of the week guranteed NOT to have any plans other than work and school. Once we all get home, we don't have to leave again unless we want to. And usually we don't want to! So YAY Monday.

I'd also been looking forward to this Monday for awhile now. Once this Monday arrived I knew I would be:

*** past the hardest weeks of preschool

*** done with Madeline's birthday celebrations

*** happy to have received my first paycheck since May

*** looking for cooler weather sooner rather than later

So when I woke up this morning it really was like a breath of fresh air (figuratively speaking, because someone somewhere near our neighborhood had done some major burning yesterday and the air was still smoky this morning).

Speaking of Madeline. Bless her heart. She really is closer to being a teenager than she is to being a kid. She came home from school today, and as she got out her homework she told me all the things that went wrong. Her brand new makeup compact broke, the button on her new Vera Bradley tote fell off, her hair kept coming undone, etc. I gave her a hug and a pep talk and went on about my business in the kitchen. A few minutes later I walked through the living room and found her fast asleep in the chair.



Poor baby! Middle School is HARD!!

What I would say if this was being written snail mail style

Dear Mamacita and Papa-san,

It's been too long since you heard from me, blah blah blah fishcakes. Feel free we're all still alive and kicking (except I'm not really kicking that much because on Labor Day I fell in a hole in the backyard and twisted my bum ankle but good. It still hurts, btw).

You'll be happy to know I'm cooking more, so Jaws is complaining less about me not cooking. The new Publix has opened up and it's like a dream in there, except I spend a lot of time wandering around trying to find everything since the layout is completely different from the old Publix. Is it wrong that I am SO EXCITED about the new Publix? Because it is, I don't want to be right.

Can you believe Madeline is 12 now?? We had a low-key lunch on Sunday (cheese toasties and chocolate chip cheesecake by her request). Her "real" party is this Friday night, when friends are coming over for dinner and a sleepover. I bribed her into having a smaller party. I offered her the cash we would have spent on a HUGE-ish party along with a smaller party. She thought about it for about five seconds and said she'd take the small party and the $$$. Smart girl. I hope she's this sensible when it comes time for a wedding.

Isabella is doing guitar lesson through the school like Madeline did last year. She's been feeling very overwhelmed with 5th grade, and frankly so have I. But we're only a month into school, so I'm sure we'll be on track soon. I hope.

Preschool is a hoot this year. Smaller class (only 9 five days a week, and 5 three days a week) which is great, but with the exception of two, they all *just* turned four. To say that this is a young class is an understatement. I have a feeling that it will feel like an uphill struggle all year, then in the spring it will fee l like a great accomplishment when we look back and see how far they've come.

No eggs from the chickens yet. Sometimes I walk out to the chicken condo and yell, "LAY, DAMN YOU!!" I'm sure it helps.

Lately I've realized that I am much happy when I have something special to look forward to. Last year it was the U2 concert. Sadly, there is nothing that awesome to look forward to on the horizon. Must rectify the situation.

How are things on the homestead? Have your hemorrhoids cleared up yet? What about Pa's prostate and goiter?? You should make a trip over soon. We miss seeing your faces. (Although I can do without the pics of the hemorrhoids.)

Love to you all.