Things That Make Me LOL

1. I love Late Night WIth Jimmy Fallon. I love Simon and Garfunkel. I *heart* Black Simon and Garfunkel.



2. More Jimmy Fallom. This is ten years old and it still makes me roll.

All this introspective navel-gazing is making my head hurt.

The other day I told someone I was going to be 33 this year. I was wrong. I'm going to be 34. That, in turn, made Jaws upset because *he* thought he was going to be 37 this year. He's not. He's going to be 38. As in, two years from the dreaded 4-0. Poor guy.

Our 15th anniversary is this year, too. Crazy. As in 15 years we've been making each other crazy as well as being crazy in love.

Today I realized that I am not cute. I have never been cute. I will never be cute. Classic? Sure. Comfortable? Yes. But cute? No. I won't be cute. My house won't be cute. Cute is beyond my reach. And another dream bites the dust. (Not really. Well, kind of. I mean, I wouldn't mind having a cute house. But that would probably mean worrying about having curtains and decent furniture instead of making sure I have adequate bookshelf space.) I think the best I can hope for is neat. That's not too bad, I guess.

I have to start thinking about dinner now. Jaws complained that there was never any FOOD for him last summer. This summer, I have really made an effort to make sure there is FOOD for him, as opposed to munchies the girls and I would be happy to live off of from June till August. Tonight we are having BIG SALADS. I have lots of fresh veggies, and there will also be bacon, cheese and croutons. Tasty. I am making dessert, too. Strawberries and blueberries mixed with Honey Greek yogurt topped with crunbled shortbread cookies.

It will all be tasty, but not cute.

A List of Things for Yoooooooouuuuuuuu!

Men I Have Been Unreasonably Attracted To At Some Point In Time:

1. TIM CURRY


Was it when I first saw him as "Rooster" in Annie? No, I was only six. Was it when he was "Wadsworth the Butler" in one of the greatest movies of all time, Clue? I was ten. Definitely getting closer. What sealed the deal for me was seeing him in full-on drag as "Frank N. Furter" in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. How twisted is that?? But really, it's his voice. Deep and British! His laugh is pure evil (in a good way). And he sings!! *swoons*

2. PRINCE


Look, he's only like 4'11, he's skinny, a little too fond of the color purple (Not to be confused with The Color Purple, Mom. Hee. That joke WILL NEVER GET OLD.) and he wears too much make up. But the dude oozes pheromones. And somehow he manages to go between a smooth baritone and a sweet falsetto and he pulls. it. off. What's up with that?

Songs and/or artists that are COMPLETELY OVERRATED and I Unreasonably Hate:
1. FIONA APPLE


UGH. I cannot tell you how much I despise Fiona Apple and every song she has ever sung. Her voice is average at best and her lyrics are bad middle school diary. Not to mention she is completely full of herself. I am really glad she was basically a one hit wonder and hope she never attempts a "comeback".

2. NEIL YOUNG


He looks and sounds like the abandoned cat that lives behind your local gas station. Crosby, Stills and Nash are better off without him.

Two Documentaries Everyone Should Watch:
1. Grizzly Man


Timothy Treadwell lived in the wilds of Alaska among Grizzly Bears. Timothy Treadwell thought the bears were his family. Timothy Treadwell was completely NUTS. Spent the hour and a half watching this movie. You won't be sorry.

2. The Endless Summer


It's so retro it's hip again! I love this movie. (I even love its not-as-good sequel.) Who hasn't dreamed of travelling around the world visiting beautiful and exotic locales? Who hasn't dreamed of having a rockin' surfer body? Who hasn't dreamed of a cure for skin cancer so we can all be tan and beautiful year round?? I still think, given half a chance I could be an awesome surfer.

When Doves Cry

***MAJOR EDIT AT THE END!! MUST BE READ!!!!!***

Y'all know my mom, right??



Nice lady. Loving wife, mother, and Nana. Doting daughter. Asset to the community. Maker of fine breads. Possessor of hobbit-like feet.

I want to tell you a story about her.

Back in the day, 'round about 1995 or so, I came home from a date. As was her habit, she was waiting up for me, watching TV. (I think this habit ended with Helen, but that's beside the point.) As was my habit, I sat down for a few minutes to talk to her, catch up on the evening's home events, etc. It took a second, but I eventually realized what Mom was watching on TV.



That's right, my friends, this woman was watching Purple Rain. I was speechless! Who knew she was such a fan of (what he was known at the time) The Artist Formally Known As Prince??!?!?

To this day, she swears she was just flipping through the channels and it just happened to be on and she got sucked into the movie. I've never been convinced by her story. I think she liked it.

So now I consider it my duty to call her everytime I see that Purple Rain is on, so she can watch her favorite movie. Just like I did last Friday. I bet she even DVRed it!

THIS IS FOR YOU, MOM!!!



Mom just reminded me a part of the story I forgot!!!! She says that she *thought* she was watching The Color Purple and got very confused when Whoopi and Oprah never showed up in the movie.

sdalkfjklasjdfkljkdslfjkdsjfkldjsfksdjfkjasdfjksdkjfkdsjfklasdfklj

I really think that just makes the story better. ;)

My Fate is in Your Hands

I know, Sweeties, you've missed my blogging. What can I say? I'm a busy woman. It's a busy time of year for me. I've been helping Jaws recover from Gallbladder Surgery/Hernia repair. The chicknes still won't lay any eggs. The girls have lives seperate from mine. (The horror!!!) The days just blend from one to another and before you know it, a month has gone by.

But here I am to make it up to you! My mother is convinced that my BIG BREAK (into what, I don't know) is just a few blog posts away. Awww...it's nice when someone irrationally believes in your talent! I realize if I don't blog the moolah will never start rolling in. The conundrum that is my life! *sigh*

Anyway. So what would you like me to blog about?

My favorite cookbooks?
Why I think the grid system in Utah is overrated?
My signature fragrance?
My first roommate?
Why mushrooms are gross?
My Desert Island CD/Book/Movie/Etc collection?
The best medications I've ever taken??

THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER, PEOPLE!!! MAKE YOUR VOICES HEARD!!!!

I'm so popular!

I was getting ready to make a ginormous post about all the things we've been up to lately (birthdays! surgeries! more! more! more!) when I noticed that I have a new follower. How exciting is that??!!?? And even better, I have NO IDEA who he is! But my mama raised me with good manners, so let me be the first to welcome

Will Hiemenz

Now that you feel welcome, Will, do you mind answering a few questions???

Who are you? Why are you here? How did you find me? Do I need to be afraid for my life? Do you like it in the Tree Fort??

Summer Fun

Albany is a big-ish small town. We're big enough to have a Target and Old Navy and soon-to-be-two Publix's, but not big enough for an Olive Garden or Super Target. If I go to the grocery store, I'm bound to see at least a few people I know. Albany has a definite small town feel.

Not too long ago, we started noticing that for such a small town, Albany has an inordinate amount of places that serve *only* hot dogs. At last count, we've noticed at least five. It's kind of weird, actually. Why the great love for hot dogs in Albany? How do five hot dog stands survive in the cut-throat restaurant business? This doesn't even take into account all of the BBQ joints and fast food restaurants that have hot dogs on their menu.

I mean, hot dogs are okay, if you're in the mood for a hot dog. It's not something I seek out, and it's certainly not something I think about buying when I'm looking to buy a precooked meal.

But the girls like hot dogs, and Madeline came up with an idea for some summer fun. We are going to visit all of the hot dog restaurants in Albany, one a week, and rate them. We even have a grading system! Sure, we could be doing something else with our time, but why not? Look for our first review soon!

What a cross between Stonehenge and the Taj Mahal would look like if it were being built in So. GA

For about two years now, we've had a plan to build a playhouse for the girls. A playhouse complete with electricity (and therefore A/C) that could also double as storage, and just maybe a guest house for when people come to visit. Our neighbors heard about the plan and laughed. The next day we came home and found three chairs on the front porch with a note saying the chairs were a "contribution to the girls' first apartment".

These playhouse plans were also part of the motivation for James to bring home all that wood last spring. He built the compost bin last spring, and the pile of wood had been sitting ever since. In James' defense, he's a busy man. But with the addition of the chicks (and the return of longer days) James has been working hard in the back yard.

Which brings me to last week....

James' plan for the permanent chicken coop involved a long yard and a coop with nesting boxes, tall enough for us to walk inside without having to bend over. We planned things out together, spray painting marks on the ground where poles would stand and things would go. I left him to his work. James had been outside digging holes for poles for about two hours when he called me out back, saying he had an idea. This is what I saw.



His idea was to build a small "treehouse" on top of the coop for the girls to give them a place to play until the "real" playhouse was built. In our minds we were thinking of the treehouse my Granddaddy had built over at the compound.



You can see it in the above picture. Something simple. Something easy.

*cue ominous music*

The girls loved the idea, of course, so James go to work going through the piles of wood to see what he would need to use. About this point I suggested that it might be nice if the playhouse was just a little bit bigger than the coop, making a balcony up top, and a covered place underneath where the girls could park their bikes and scooters. James thought this was a fabulous idea and adjested his plans accordingly.

I'm not sure what happened next. The next time I went outside things were...bigger than I had imagined.



See those cross boards? Those are the supports for the playroom floor. Let me show you from a different angle.



James is over 6 feet tall. The floor will be 8 feet in the air. The playhouse itself will be almost 6 feet tall with a pitched roof. To say that this thing will tower in the air would be an understatement.

Then I got to looking closely. All of the posts seemed kind of far apart. James then explained to me that the dimensions had changed a bit to make it easier to work with the wood we already had.



All told, from one end to the other, starting with the entrance to the chicken yard to the end of the balcony this structure will be 38 feet long. The playhouse floor itself (8 feet off the ground, remember) is 8 1/2 by 14 1/2 feet. For the record, this is almost as big as our bedroom. It started out 5ft by 8ft. The plans now included enclosing the area underneath the playhouse and building shelves/cabinets for even more storage.

Please tell me why we can never, ever stick to a simple plan.

TO BE CONTINUED, AGAIN

Spring Break

I don't know how it happened, but this year we managed to take an honest-to-goodness Spring Break, as opposed to a stay-at-home-vegging-in-front-of-the-tv-occasionally-doing-some-yard-work Spring Break. Tomorrow we go back to real life (with only a month and a half till the end of the school year!).

We kicked off Spring Break with the Easter Bunny visiting us on Saturday morning (somehow she knew we wouldn't be here for Easter) then heading over to Tifton for an Easter Egg hunt and lunch.

For the record, I didn't wrap up the baskets like this. The nice Easter Bunnies at Place on the Pointe made them look all pretty. And no, those bags weren't as full as they looked!


This year we had to expand to three different egg hunts: one for the adults (16 and up), one for the big kids and one for the little kids.







Jed thought it would be funny to put an egg on Roxie's collar, thinking none of the kids would get it.


He didn't take into account Madeline's long legs and determination!


Mom got ahold of some eggs with strings attached. James and David thought it would be funny to hang these in the trees.


It's all fun and games until someone ends up in the Emergency Room!


Of course, the highlight of the day was the adult Easter Egg hunt, which involves COLD HARD CASH.

I'm not sure why Matt and James wore their buckets on their head, but to each his own..











Once again I forgot to wear the right type of shoes, so my hunting was seriously impared. But between James and I we found about $15 worth of eggs. Matt found the golden egg worth the big bucks.

After lunch, we headed down to Jacksonville...

March-ing along

There was a time when March seemed like the least busiest, least exciting, longest lasting month of the year. It's really not that way anymore. Winter is gone, spring is here and time is rapidly moving forward.

Last night we finished our last OZ related activity. The owners of the local skating rink had seen one of the shows, and they were so impressed that they contacted the drama teacher and said they wanted to invite the entire cast for a night of free skating! How nice is that??!!? It's definitely one of the perks of living in a small-ish town.

Even though it was a massive undertaking, we are all kind of sad that the show is over. We made a lot of new friends, and it was an experience that definitely brought us closer together as a family.

After the last show, we had the cast party. Parents were invited, and I think James and I expected...well, I'm not sure what we expected. All I know is that I DID NOT take the drama teacher seriously when she said the party usually went late. The party didn't start until almost 9:00pm, and I figured the kids would be pretty tired, having come off two performances that day.

Boy, was I WRONG!!

The party ended around 12:30. AM. By the time we got home, showered, ready for bed, etc, it was pushing 2AM. All I can say is that I CANNOT stay up that late on a regular basis anymore. ;)

It was worth it though, because we had a BLAST. There was great food and a DJ (who played mostly music for the kids, but it was still fun to get out there and dance).

Why is the Macarena such a long song?




It seriously goes on and on and on FOR-EV-ERRRRRRR.


That blur of hair is Bella dancing with a friend. LOL




I'm pretty sure they played "Party in the USA" at least two times.




Is it any wonder we slept until almost noon the next day?? ;)

The Possibilities Are Practically Endless!

In researching movies that Bella wants to watch at her birthday/slumber party this weekend, we discovered that Pee Wee's Playhouse is ON DVD!!! HOW AWESOME IS THAT???!??!!??!?



I was trying to describe the awesomeness to the girls, but you can't describe is, can you? Pee Wee must be EXPERIENCED. It was off to YouTube we went, looking for clips. They didn't really "get it" until we came across the BEST CLIP EVAH!!!



So now we've been randomly shouting "GIANT UNDERPANTS!!" for the past two days, then laughing and laughing afterward. This is why being a parent is so much fun!

Wanna know what's even better?? Our local library has the DVDs! We've been working our way through them, and the girls love them. James doesn't really get it (I guess he was TOO OLD for Pee Wee) but we don't care. Pee Wee is polarious!

I have GOT to see this movie!!

The Academy Award Winning Movie Trailer

SNOWMAGEDDON

I realize that watching other people's videos can be kind of a drag, but I promise you these are FUNNY! (As a bonus, they are only 30 seconds to a minute long.)

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

I'm so proud of myself. In spite of a hellacious cold that started December 4th (and is still lingering a bit even today) I only missed one day of work and managed to get everything done that *had* to get done. The tree is up and decorated, presents are wrapped, goodies were made for teachers, and I survived my preschool Christmas party. Whew!

Of course, you'll probably be receiving a Christmas card from us somewhere around New Year's, and it's not going to be homemade, but it's the thought that counts, right? ;)

The girlies left yesterday to spend some time with Nana, Papa, various aunties, uncles and cousins. I plan to do some baking for Christmas Eve and clean out a few drawers and baskets while they are gone. I also plan to sleep in until at least 10 AM, so don't call me before then, okay?

I think I'm probably the last person in the family to post about it, but waaaaaay back on December 5th, those of us who were local to the south GA area gathered in Tifton so we could all make Granddaddy happy by having four generations of the family participate in the Tifton Christmas parade.

The parade didn't start until 5:00 PM, but we had to be in line by three. The day was cold, so we didn't get to show off our Christmas edition "Granddaddy" t-shirts like we wanted to. James decided to have his own version of "Cattells Gone Wild".



We had three vehicles in the parade. Dad's truck (with Grandmom and Dallin in the front and Matthew, Tabi, Evan and Brittany in the back) pulling the trailer with Mom, Helen and Ryan, David and Eileen and most of the grandkids on it.

















Our friends the Giggeys were next in line, and James and I rode in the back of their truck. Mom said we looked like the ultimate redneck tailgaters.





The Giggey boys looked too cute, and I had to take a picture of Dallin and Noah in their hats. (Believe it or not, Dallin and Noah were born just a few weeks apart, with Dallin being the younger of the two. I think he outweighs Noah about 2-1!)





Behind us was the golf cart with Andrea, Granddaddy, Jed and Nathan, and behind then was Aunt Susan walking with her History Club from school.







After m-u-u-u-u-u-u-ch waiting, we FINALLY got started. Mom was THE MAN and got us registered as the first group to go after all the city official-types went, and this was our view as we turned onto 2nd Street.





We had a lot of fun throwing out candy to all of the bystanders, although we tried to avoid throwing it to weirdos like these people:



By the time we got to the end of the parade, it was dark. We got permission to drive the rest of the way home (about 3 miles) just as we were- in the back of the trucks, trailers and golf cart. Only in a small town, right? I was pretty frozen by the time we finished that ride, in spite of my many layers of clothes and blankets.

I think we can safely say a good time was had by all, and we *might* just do it again next year!

Maybe.