What happened to Blogger while I wasn't blogging?

Sheesh. A girl steps away from her blog for a few months and all hell breaks loose. Why the changes, Blogger? Don't you know I hate change? As if I didn't already have enough to deal with. *rollseyes* I was going to write an awesome post, but instead I have to use this time figuring out how to add pictures to what was sure to be a ridiculously boring post.

The Things We Do

I'm sitting at the library using a public computer because Bella wants to go to the Anime/Manga program starting in a little bit. The lady two seats down can't hear that her phone with the world's most annoying ringtone has been ringing for a solid minute because she has headphones on. I'm still trying to get past a migraine that hit me with a vengeance yesterday afternoon. Madeline wants to make a robe for the Harry Potter premiere on Friday and begged me to take her to Hobby Lobby to buy some black fabric. I'm just as interested to see how this project turns out because 1) I don't sew and 2) she doesn't have a pattern. She's ambitious and confident, though. More power to her.

So while I'd like to be home in a semi-dark room with a hot rice bag over my eyes, instead I'm being a mom.

GAH! The cell phone just went off AGAIN. I may commit murder and plead temporary insanity and show the judge this blog post as proof of the duress I was under.

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

It happens every year, just like clockwork. I've done my shopping (but there's still the wrapping) school is out (but I'm exhausted from all of the parties, crafts, sugar, etc) I've pondered the TRUE MEANING of Christmas (and gritted my teeth everytime some do-gooder pretends that Christmas is the only holiday celebrated in December and urges me to boycott anyone/aything who has the audacity to say "Happy Holidays") and now it's time for my Annual Holiday Meltdown where I want to scream to the world, "WILL YOU ALL JUST SOD OFF YOU UNGRATEFUL INGRATES???!?!?!??!?!!?!?".

*takes a deep breath*

*gets into zen mode*

*wonders if that is allowed when one celebrates Christmas, or is that not Christian enough of me?*

*doesn't care*

*takes another deep breath*

*thinks about my favorite Christmas songs, especially the rendition of "O Holy Night" that was sung at church yesterday*

*drinks some Dr. Pepper*

*knows the meltdown will pass in a few hours*

*feels better while keeping things in perspective*

Gloom, Despair and Agony on Me

I recognize that my life is pretty good.

My clothes are clean.
It's 92* outside at the end of September, but I have A/C to keep my (somewhat) cool.
I've eaten three meals plus snacks today.
I have two working cars to drive.
My husband has a great job.
My children are healthy,
My cats are neutered so I don't have to worry about unwanted pets.
I have libraries and the internet to keep me entertained for hours.


But some days my inner critic just won't shut up, and all I can think about is the mistakes I've made and the anxiety I feel, and that inner critic won't stop yelling, "Hey Jennifer!!! You SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!" Today is one of those days. I feel like cussing. (But I won't because my mom reads this blog. And it would just give the inner critic more ammunition.)

It needs to rain. And get colder. Is 33 too early to have a mid-life crisis??

Today

1. The zit on the side of my nose hurts so much that it's giving me a headache.

2. It's completely wrong that I have to maintain both anti-wrinkle and anti-acne skin care regimens.

3. File under "It Could Only Happen In The South": I was given a compliment on my Vera Bradley handbag while shopping for rainboots at the Tractor Supply Company.

4. All week the weather has been cold and windy and getting colder and windier. It was supposed to be leading up to last night when a combination of weather patterns would lead to a WINTERY MIX of snow, sleet and ice, thereby necessitating the cancelling of school.

Instead what happened was for the first time in over a week the temperature DID NOT drop waaaaay below freezing. What it did instead was say *just above* freezing and have the wind blow so much that the wind chill was 17 degrees all day. Ergo, no snow day. Not cool Mother Nature, not cool. Or should I say: NOT COOL ENOUGH!!!

5. Next week is Pajama Day at preschool AKA My Favorite Day of the Year AKA The Day I Missed Last Year Because I Had Pneumonia. What I sleep in will not work for Pajama Day. I went shopping at three stores today for new pajamas. Evidently fat people are forced to sleep au naturale because there were NO pajamas available for anyone over a size 14. And since I can find no new pajamas, I am forced to keep the muumuu I stole from my mother over Christmas.

My eyes cast low

That's it.

I'm throwing in the towel.

It's been a fairly craptastic week, and I'm just done. (Sorry for the salty language, Mom.)

Report cards came out this week, and it's clear that Bella inherited her daddy's spelling skills and not mine. (Which is to say she has very little spelling skills. :\) Then I felt all guilty about it because isn't it my job to make sure she studies and gets good spelling grades? And because I'm so tired in the evenings because I've been at preschool and I'm too lazy to do anything more that I absolutely have to, and that means I'm a bad mom for putting my wants ahead of her needs!

And it's not like I'm even doing all that great at school, because I feel like my kids there aren't learning anything either, especially the one little boy with some special needs who needs *lots* of extra help, and I've never been put in this situation before, and am I even qualified to be his teacher, considering I've got 55 hours of college to my name and that's it?

Not too mention that I'm also battling my (WARNING!!! TMI AHEAD!!!!!!) third yeast infection in four months, and I can't even get into my doctor to see if there's something going on, because he's booked on the days that I'm free, and I'm booked on the days that he's free.

Then to top it all off, I got a stupid speeding ticket today on the way to Tifton. And even though I'm going to fight it in court, it was just the icing on the cake of crappiness, you know?

And not even the thought of Disney World in ONE WEEK can bring me out of this terrible funk.

Woe.

Woe is me.