Third Person Thursday

Back in December she won a raffle for a handmade quilt.

She emailed the quilt maker with some colors that she liked and told the quilter to surprise her with the end result. Every few weeks the quilter would send an email updating her on the progress, until last week the quilter told her it was in the mail.

When she opened the package, her breath was taken away. The quilt was gorgeous. The colors were perfect. The size was perfect for snuggling up in on a rainy (or not so rainy) day. The thickness and weight were exactly what she wanted. If she had been there in person, picking out fabrics and laying out the pattern, it could not have been more perfect. (In fact, it probably would have been worse as she tends to get overwhelmed with color choices and design schemes and so forth.)

It reminded her of another perfect quilt that is no longer with her. That quilt was made by her grandmother. It was a crazy patchwork, with no rhyme or reason to the color or fabric selection. It was on her bed from the time she was 13 until the time it was lost in a move at the age of 22. She wept over the loss of that quilt. She knows it seems silly, crying over a quilt, especially one that was starting to get worn and threadbare with use. But she doesn't care. In the eleven years since it went missing, no other blanket has ever felt as good as that quilt did.

She knows that quilts are often used as metaphors when people are speaking of feeling the Holy Spirit at work in your life; warm, enveloping, conforting. It's a good metaphor, she thinks. The arrival of this new perfect quilt just happened to coincide with some crazy deep soul searching she had been doing. She thinks she'll spend some time wrapped up in love, just as she did so many years before.

A-HA!!! (And not the Norwegian Pop Group)

I HAVE HAD AN EPIPHANY, PEOPLE!!!

I know no one likes reading "Woe is me" blog posts, but if that's how you're feeling then what else can you say? For a few weeks now, I've been trying to get to the root of exactly *WHY* I've been feeling this way, because believe it or not, I don't like mopey me and more than you do.

And then tonight, while listening to the rain and trying to get the dog to go out without me having to go with her, IT HIT ME.

I HAVEN'T ACCOMPLISHED ANYTHING PERSONALLY THIS YEAR!

Let me explain. By this time last year, some of my writing had been published in a magazine and on a biggish LDS blog. I had contributed a few pieces to the AMAZING Betsy Bird's blog in reference to her Top 100 Children's Book poll and I knew they would be published in the spring. My creative juices were flowing.

Right now?? Not so much. So clearly I need to do something creative and exciting. But what??????? I've been wanting to learn how to play "Jesus Loves Me" on the guitar so I can accompany my preschool class for our graduation. I have no idea how to play the guitar, though. I need to find a teacher. This can be my project!

Running on Empty

Last night I ran away from home. I didn't run that far, only into town to a local coffee shop for some hot chocolate. It had been a long week and I was tired and worn out and feeling unloved and underappreciated. I parked in the movie theatre parking lot because it was well lit and there were people around, so if I got car-jacked maybe someone would notice. I called my oldest friend in the world and cried, but then she made me laugh and I love her for that. So I decided to come home and get some much-needed sleep.

Beauty and the Beast

Now in a limited engagement....



P.S.- James' sets are A.MAZ.ING!!!

In the manner of a headless chicken...

Friday is OPENING NIGHT for Beauty and the Beast. James is still feverishly building sets. Bella is trying to get used to dancing in her big poufy costume. Madeline is learning patience as a crew/tech member working backstage helping with cues, getting 3rd, 4th and 5th graders (so young and immature, compared to her, a 6th grader). I think the director might have a nervous breakdown before the end of the week. And I'm realizing that it's MARCH and technically there are only 10 WEEKS of school left and I still have so much to do before the end of the year. Wasn't it just Christmas break??

City Girls, Country Girls

As I was brushing my teeth last night it occurred to me that the girls are growing up the exact opposite way I did.

I grew up in mainly urban/suburban environs. On most of our family vacations/getaways we escaped to the peace and tranquility of south Georgia, visiting Grandmom and Granddaddy. And I loved it, even as a teenager. I loved that there were no city lights to block out the stars. I loved helping with the chickens and in the garden. I loved the quiet of the country and taking walks through cotton fields along dirts roads. I loved sitting on the porch with Granddaddy watching the occasional car go by. I loved seeing the Christmas lights that Tifton put up "downtown" every year. I just loved the coziness of it all.

Now, I live in that (somewhat) cozy environment. When we take our family vacations we usually head to the big city- Jacksonville or Atlanta. Mostly to visit friends and family, but also so we can hit up the big city stores and museums and restaurants. I love having lots of choices as to what we will do for the day. I love knowing that there is a good chance I won't run into someone I know. I love looking at the skyline at night, all lit up. I love the excitement and energy.

It will be interesting to see where the girls settle down when they grow up.

A List of Things for Yoooooooouuuuuuuu!

Men I Have Been Unreasonably Attracted To At Some Point In Time:

1. TIM CURRY


Was it when I first saw him as "Rooster" in Annie? No, I was only six. Was it when he was "Wadsworth the Butler" in one of the greatest movies of all time, Clue? I was ten. Definitely getting closer. What sealed the deal for me was seeing him in full-on drag as "Frank N. Furter" in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. How twisted is that?? But really, it's his voice. Deep and British! His laugh is pure evil (in a good way). And he sings!! *swoons*

2. PRINCE


Look, he's only like 4'11, he's skinny, a little too fond of the color purple (Not to be confused with The Color Purple, Mom. Hee. That joke WILL NEVER GET OLD.) and he wears too much make up. But the dude oozes pheromones. And somehow he manages to go between a smooth baritone and a sweet falsetto and he pulls. it. off. What's up with that?

Songs and/or artists that are COMPLETELY OVERRATED and I Unreasonably Hate:
1. FIONA APPLE


UGH. I cannot tell you how much I despise Fiona Apple and every song she has ever sung. Her voice is average at best and her lyrics are bad middle school diary. Not to mention she is completely full of herself. I am really glad she was basically a one hit wonder and hope she never attempts a "comeback".

2. NEIL YOUNG


He looks and sounds like the abandoned cat that lives behind your local gas station. Crosby, Stills and Nash are better off without him.

Two Documentaries Everyone Should Watch:
1. Grizzly Man


Timothy Treadwell lived in the wilds of Alaska among Grizzly Bears. Timothy Treadwell thought the bears were his family. Timothy Treadwell was completely NUTS. Spent the hour and a half watching this movie. You won't be sorry.

2. The Endless Summer


It's so retro it's hip again! I love this movie. (I even love its not-as-good sequel.) Who hasn't dreamed of travelling around the world visiting beautiful and exotic locales? Who hasn't dreamed of having a rockin' surfer body? Who hasn't dreamed of a cure for skin cancer so we can all be tan and beautiful year round?? I still think, given half a chance I could be an awesome surfer.

It's Friday, I'm in Love

1. Isabella has been home from school for three days now because of a sinus infection/fever/bad cough. The antibiotic *finally* seems to be kicking in and she's feeling better. James stayed home with her on Wednesday, and I've been home yesterday and today. I've been able to cath up on a few things around here, which is nice. Around 10:00 or so this morning I folded a load of laundry on my bed and then put it away. I sat down for a minute to survey the joint, fully intending to get back up, put my shoes on and go get some more Ginger Ale (Ginger Ale fixes any illnesss. Did you know that??)

Nex thing I knew I was waking up and it was 1:00! What kind of person have I become?? One who falls asleep for a three hour nap, evidently.

2. I am feeling quite motivated to rearrange my books on the bookshelves in the living room. Right now everything is (mostly) arranged by author (but not in alphabetical order) and the occasional genre. I think of moving all the genre books together and making a larger shelf for books I haven't read yet. I'm hoping this way I'll remember what I haven't read when I go looking for something before I go out and buy something new.

But the thought of rearranging 500+ books is a little daunting. Maybe I'll just run down to the library and pick up the books I have on hold first.

3. You know I worship at the feet of The Pioneer Woman. Everything she does is magic and all that jazz. But the last few recipes I've made from her have only been so-so. The Cherry Cake Pudding was especially disappointing. But it's okay, Ree. I still love you!!!

4. I am so very glad we don't have school on Monday.

Third Person Thursday

Tip 'o the hat to Kage for the format idea.

She knows this time of the year is the winter doldrums, so she tried to compensate by keeping her home tidy(ish) and cozy, cooking pots of hearty soups and the occasional yummy dessert and looking forward to spring and sunshine, which isn't too far away.

But just like clockwork, the moody blues hit with a vengeance. She's tired and worn out from dealing with the flu on top of life. She knows her partner is also tired and worn out and worst in his mind, COLD. (He doesn't like being cold.) She's trying to be supportive, but the energy battery is already running so low in spite of the extra rest and vitamins and cutting out the unimportant to focus on what matters Right Now. She realized today that not only is it a full moon this week, but her monthly visitor would be arriving sometime on Sunday. (She knows this thanks to the miracle of modern science).

In other words, Mother Nature is really, really messing her up.

She's been worrying about her girls, too. She remembers those awkward tween/pre-teen/teen years all to well. At times she sees the girls handling challenges with grace and maturity that belies their ages. And then sometimes they're a weeping mess that can't be fixed, only endured. She remembers what it was like and digs deep in her muddled soul so she can listen or talk or provide a solution- whatever is necessary. And then there was yesterday when there was nothing she could say, and the consequences (if any) would fall directly - and painfully - on her precious girl's head.

And then there's reality smacking her straight upside the head, with another sick girl. It didn't seem serious at first, but it's getting worse. The doctor wants to wait until tomorrow to how things stand then. The last time she waited her baby girl ended up with pneumonia. But she decides to trust the doctor, because the alternative (a middle of the night trip to the scary, takes-eight-hours-to-be-seen-and-who-knows-what-germs-are-now-taking-over-her-body emergency room) is worse than waiting.

And while she's busy dealing with the day-to-day stuff, living life, enduring to the end, what she REALLY wants to be doing is thinking deep thoughts about long term decisions and implications and ramifications. For her. For her partner. For her girls. For their family. For their friends. She wants to write out her concerns and frustrations and her goals and dreams. But she's afraid people won't be kind or understanding or worse; like they will judge her feelings and willfully misunderstand her choices. Because it's happened before, and it wasn't pretty. It never is.

Her body will heal. So will her mind and soul. Mother Nature will be kind again soon. She'll worry in the meantime but then, when the time is right, when the universe shows itself, she'll act. She knows life is messy and lovely. She's got the dichotomy down and she understands that juxtaposing some things will make people mighty uncomfortable. So she waits a bit longer, biding her time. Pondering. Praying. Revising. Reviewing. Waiting.

Lulu says "Happy Thursday"

Y'all. Y'ALL. LOOK AT THAT FACE!!!!

What I Did Not Do On Valentine's Day

1. I was sick with the flu AND tonsillitis last week. As in Monday afternoon through Sunday Night. I went back to school yesterday because 1) I was feeling better (finally!) and 2) we had our class Valentine's Party. Party days are always crazy (in a good way) but I can't in good conscience make a sub deal with that.

So. While in the abstract I knew yesterday was Valentine's Day, in the concrete world I had pretty much forgotten about it, what with being sick and all. Which means Isabella went skipping off to school with no valentines for her class. (Madeline, being in middle school, is now responsible for giving out valentines to whomever she chooses. I wash my hands of it.) This was Isabella's last year of the whole-class-valentine-thing and I blew it. I should feel guilty-ish, but I kinda-sorta don't.

2. Speaking of realizing it was Valentine's Day but not realizing that it's TODAY (or yesterday, as it were) James made plans to get a haircut after work. I forgot about these plans. With Beauty and the Beast stuff plus me being sick, I hadn't cooked a real meal in almost three weeks. Last night I was feeling well enough to throw together some Spaghetti and Meatballs and Caesar Salad for dinner. (I figured the sauce was red so that said "Happy Valentine's Day" enough).

I was getting kinda late (for us) and James still wasn't home. For a sit down dinner! That I cooked! On Valentine's Day!. So the girls and I ate without him. When he got home and I saw his lack of hair I remembered his plans. Oh well. A romantic dinner is such a cliche anyway.

3. Before I got sick, I bought the girls their Valentine's presents. We got them a rose charm to go on the Pandora bracelets they got for Christmas. (A rose because 1) roses are the International Flower of Lurve and 2) it's the Beauty and the Beast trademark symbol, and we wanted to get them something to remind them of this production.)

However, I get sick before I could order James *his* Valentine's present, namely, new long johns (The cold weather apparel.Not the delicious cream filled, chocolate filled pastry. Although he would have appreciated that as well.) But since he didn't get me anything either, we'll just say No Harm, No Foul.

And frankly, if Valentine's Day disappeared from the calendar I probably wouldn't miss it. You know those people who are all "Christmas is so commercial! Jesus is the reason for the season! Down with malls and Black Friday!!! Blah, blah, blah fishcakes!!"? That's how I feel about Valentine's Day. You're supposed to go all out on this one day out of the year to share your significant other how much you love them by spending money or doing something "special"? Please.

There's a well-known LDS blogger who I kinda-sorta keep up with who kept referring to the day as the "Lover's Holiday". *cue me rolling my eyes SO FAR BACK INTO MY HEAD THAT I'M AFRAID THEY MIGHT NOT COME BACK*. Sorry, well-known LDS blogger. This just smacks of trying way way WAY too hard, not to mention it's just obnoxious.

I'd keep on ranting, but it's time for me to go pick up some dinner for James and the girls. (They are rehearsing, he's building amazing sets.) Hopefully they'll know I love them, even if it's not February 14th.

When Doves Cry

***MAJOR EDIT AT THE END!! MUST BE READ!!!!!***

Y'all know my mom, right??



Nice lady. Loving wife, mother, and Nana. Doting daughter. Asset to the community. Maker of fine breads. Possessor of hobbit-like feet.

I want to tell you a story about her.

Back in the day, 'round about 1995 or so, I came home from a date. As was her habit, she was waiting up for me, watching TV. (I think this habit ended with Helen, but that's beside the point.) As was my habit, I sat down for a few minutes to talk to her, catch up on the evening's home events, etc. It took a second, but I eventually realized what Mom was watching on TV.



That's right, my friends, this woman was watching Purple Rain. I was speechless! Who knew she was such a fan of (what he was known at the time) The Artist Formally Known As Prince??!?!?

To this day, she swears she was just flipping through the channels and it just happened to be on and she got sucked into the movie. I've never been convinced by her story. I think she liked it.

So now I consider it my duty to call her everytime I see that Purple Rain is on, so she can watch her favorite movie. Just like I did last Friday. I bet she even DVRed it!

THIS IS FOR YOU, MOM!!!



Mom just reminded me a part of the story I forgot!!!! She says that she *thought* she was watching The Color Purple and got very confused when Whoopi and Oprah never showed up in the movie.

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I really think that just makes the story better. ;)

Confession is good for the soul

Blah, blah, blah, tell me if you've heard this before- my library basket is overflowing and so is my nightstand. So many books, so little time!! Anyway, I rearranged some bookshelves the other day with the idea of clearing out a shelf to put all the books I've bought but haven't read yet. As I started loading the shelf, I quickly realized it was going to take more than one bookshelf to hold all of the BIBBHRY.

Let's put it this way- I stopped counting at 30 books.

*is ashamed*
*not really*

So that's my confession for the day. I buy too many books. (Although, in my defense, these books have been bought over the course of several years. On second thought, I don't think that's a very good defense.)

Now it's your turn: CONFESS YOUR DEEPEST DARKEST SECRET!!! It'll be fun!!!!

What could have been...

How do I really feel??

LORA: THANK YOU for being there so many times when I needed you. I love you like you're my own sister, and I really do hope our kids fall in love and then we'll be related and James and I can retire to your basement.

MAMACITA AND PAPASAN: Thank you for letting me grow up all those different times. I love you.

GRANDMOM AND GRANDDADDY: Thank you for letting me spend my summers with you and taking me out for hot fudge sundaes on my birthday. I love you, too.

TENEAL: I wish I was in Singapore with you.

STACEY: The day we spent at Wild Adventures with your family was the first time we truly felt like we belonged in Albany.

MELISSA N. AND GAWDUN: Has a temple trip ever been so much fun? I think not.

ERIN AND KATHERYN: Thank you for not holding it against me that I kissed your respective significant others in the past. ;) Let's all get together again this year, okay??

DEEANN (WHO DOESN'T HAVE A BLOG BUT SHOULD!!!): I will be mad if you don't come visit (at least for a day!!) this year.

DAVID, EILEEN, HELEN, RYAN, MATT, JED: Thank you for keeping me humble. I love you all.

MAMA V: Thank you for being my friend, and loving my kids like they are actually related to you.

BECKIE, TAHMI, AND MELANIE: Thank you for making James more than capable to handle life with three women.

ADRIANA AND ALISHA: In my book, you are both 15 cow women.

MELISSA G: Update your blog, woman! Tell me what books you are reading!! I miss talking to you. QUit being so busy, okay?? :P

AND TO EVERYONE ELSE: Thank you for listening to me and letting my voice be heard.

Lora is on a roll these days, posting all the time! I feel bad for my poor, neglected blog.

In other news, we got a dog the week after Christmas. An 11 week old mini schnauzer/beagle mix who we promptly named "Tulip" (in keeping with our tradition of naming our pets after flowers). But we call her Lulu. (But in my mind, I always call her Lulubelle Roman. I don't know why. I guess you have to be of a certain age and from a certain part of the country to get the Lulu Roman reference.)

I am the first to admit that while I like dogs, I am not a "dog person". Give me a cat anyday. But the other three people in the house seem to believe that *they* are "dog people" and since my vote is only one out of four (although I do have super veto override priviledges). We started talking about getting a dog about six months ago. We knew we wanted something small-ish and something that wasn't overly hairy. (Don't want to add to the cat hair, after all.) We kept an ear out, and our patience was rewarded when I heard someone was giving away free puppies.

I'm still not really a "dog person". However, what I am finding out is that I'm a "Lulu person". She has such a cute personality. And her face, OH THE FACE!! And the way she cocks her head to the side when she lisening intently?? OH FOR CUTE!!! I find myself using the most ridiculous voice with her sometimes. But I can't resist the face.



I mean, COME ON!!

The cats were not happy. Tigerlily showed her disapproval by leaving a dead bird on the floor in my bedroom. She then killed another bird and hid it BEHIND THE COUCH, which we had no idea about until we went hunting for a "weird small". But for now, Lulu and the cats have kinda-sorta reached a truce (Tigerlily and Lulu occasionally will share the bed in the evenings, with the cat on one side of me and the dog on the other). Poppy just takes refuge on the top bunk in the girls' bedroom, and occasionally I will find her leaning over the rail, looking down at Lulu as if to mock. It's kind of a passive-aggressive relationship, really.

So if you happen to be in the neighborhood, stop by and meet the world's cutest doggy-woggy pumpkin face.

Blagh

Have you heard about the cold weather blanketing the south? Yeah baby, t's cold outside! As thrilled as I was when we heard Sunday afternoon that school was being cancelled because of potential ice, I didn't believe it would come to much. Imagine my surprise when I woke up Monday morning and there was ice *everywhere*. We had honest-to-goodness icicles hanging from our roof! I meant to take pictures, but I took a nap instead.

Books, Reading, The New Year, Whatever

Tracy M over at Dandelion Mama makes a good argument for not making any New Year resolutions. I think I'm on board with this idea. As Anne Shirley said, "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it." Much better to aim for doing the best you can on any given day than to vow that *this* will be the year you ___________ (fill in the blank), I think.

I didn't mean to post my last post without any additional commentary. Oh well. Once again, I read a lot this year (118 New To Me Books, to be exact). That doesn't take into account re-reads or all the books I read at preschool. Looking over the list, there is a good mix of genres- lots of YA and Children's Fiction, a good amount of non-fiction, some romance, and even a few blogs-turned-books that made me laugh a lot.

Sadly, the "TO BE READ" pile is no smaller now than it was this time last year. I've toyed with the idea of saving up and getting a Kindle (to save on space), but I think I'd spend a fortune buying my old favorites in eBook form (so I could have them with me at ALL TIMES). Not to mention I think the girls would constantly be stealing it from me. Finally, I know that the temptation to get click happy over at Amazon would be too great. I already have a hard enough time resisting buying whatever I want, whenever I want because of my free two-day shipping with Amazon Prime! Oh, to have more self-control.

School starts back tomorrow. The girls are doing Beauty and the Beast this year, which makes me *VERY* excited. Practice starts in earnest on Thursday. James is building sets once again. Bella has several roles, and Madeline (as a Middle Schooler) is working crew. My job is to keep make sure everyone is where they need to be, when they need to be there, fed and rested. ( I will need to remember to do this for myself, too! :P)

Jennifer's 2010 book montage

Jennifer's favorite books »

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

It happens every year, just like clockwork. I've done my shopping (but there's still the wrapping) school is out (but I'm exhausted from all of the parties, crafts, sugar, etc) I've pondered the TRUE MEANING of Christmas (and gritted my teeth everytime some do-gooder pretends that Christmas is the only holiday celebrated in December and urges me to boycott anyone/aything who has the audacity to say "Happy Holidays") and now it's time for my Annual Holiday Meltdown where I want to scream to the world, "WILL YOU ALL JUST SOD OFF YOU UNGRATEFUL INGRATES???!?!?!??!?!!?!?".

*takes a deep breath*

*gets into zen mode*

*wonders if that is allowed when one celebrates Christmas, or is that not Christian enough of me?*

*doesn't care*

*takes another deep breath*

*thinks about my favorite Christmas songs, especially the rendition of "O Holy Night" that was sung at church yesterday*

*drinks some Dr. Pepper*

*knows the meltdown will pass in a few hours*

*feels better while keeping things in perspective*

Baby, it's cold outside...

No, really it is. 39 degrees with a windchill of 29. In the middle of the day. (And I know some of you live in other parts of the country where that's nothing. I don't wanna hear about it. Do you see me razzing you when you're sweltering at 85 degress and no humidity? No.) We usually don't see temps like this until January or so. The house is cold. I suppose I could go turn up the heater, but I need to start cooking dinner in the next hour or so, and the oven would heat up the house a bit. But I'm too cold to think of doing anything but crawling under the covers and taking a nap.

I haven't mentioned it here yet, but the chickens finally started laying eggs about three weeks ago. Happy day! I took pictures of the first eggs, but then they were accidentally deleted (along with 300 other pictures) when I let the girls use my camera. You'll just have to believe me when I say the yolks are a vibrant yellow, and they make the prettiest scrambled eggs, not to mention they taste yummy.

This is our last week of school before the holiday break. I am very, very happy about this. I'm especially happy with the way the break falls- a full week off before Christmas and a week and a half off after Christmas. This gives me time to get everything done I need to before Christmas, and time to recover after.

Sometimes I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. I suppose that's a feeling common to most women. I keep telling myself that I'll get it all together here soon. I'll let you know if that happens. ;)