Choices, decisions

Yesterday I made a decision and today I feel good about it. Six months ago I wouldn't have made the same decision- honestly, I couldn't have. I would have felt sick-to-my-stomach horrible about it. It would have been a Very Bad Thing for me. (Even though the thing the choice was made about isn't a bad thing at all. It was a good thing, but not a Good Thing for me at the time. If that makes any sense.)

So what's my point??

Sometimes you simply cannot choose to "just be happy" about any given situation. You can choose to deal with it in a mature, rational way, but you sure as heck don't have to be happy. You can set boundaries and say, "No. Not right now. Please don't bother me about this until I give you some sign that you can bother me about this."

As a woman of faith, I'm expected to "cast my burden on the Lord", even though it's really against my nature to do so because honestly, I don't want to bother Him and there is a lot of suffering out there. But too many people think this step automatically makes everything better. Sometimes things do get better, and you can be happy again. But sometimes things just get a lot worse and there's absolutely nothing to be done about except embrace the unhappiness and move forward.
It's downright unreasonable and more than just a little sadistic to expect people to *always* choose to be happy. Even Jesus wept, right?

But we also know that "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven" . My season is changing. I'm able to make different choices and decisions in this season. I feel excited, and yes, happy. Not necessarily because I have *chosen* to feel happy, but because I just am. I know the seasons will change again eventually, and I'll apply the lessons I've learned in this season of joy to get through the vale of tears.

In the end, this is my journey through mortality. I have my choices and decisions to make, and my journey won't look like that of anyone else. I find lots and lots of comfort in that.