Trashy Romance Novel Review

I had so many requests for a review of this book, I just had to give the people what they want! ;)



I'm amazed that someone got paid to write this book. I'm even more surprised that someone would pay *looks at the cover* $3.99 to purchase it!

The most ridiculous scene is near the beginning. Jared, the hero, invites Christabel, the heroine, and her daughter over for dinner at his house. Let me share with you the scene, from the purity of the text:

"She looked up to see Jared emerging from the veranda...His white shirt was unbuttoned, flapping open as he walked, revealing black curls nestled on his deeply tanned chest and a fine line of hair arrowing down, disappearing below the belt line of his white shorts. Snug, sexy shorts, leaving most of his muscular legs bare. His flagrant maleness caught the breath in Christabel's throat."

That's hawt. I only wish all of my dates had shown up wearing an open shirt and tight short shorts. But I gotta give the author some credit. Thanks to her descriptions, I think I can really picture in my mind just what Jared looks like.



*snort*

This is on page 34, and by page 57 they're on their way to a glorious night full of HAWT!Sex, even though it can only be one night, due to a secret lurking in Christabel's past (DUN DUN DUN). The secret comes out on page 111, (Christabel had an arranged marriage to a cold and distant man from a powerful family. He died in speedboating accident under mysterious circumstances when she was 5 months pregnant. Christabel's daughter is the sole heir of the family and will inherit $600 million on her 18th birthday, and Christabel is scared someone will try and kidnap her for ransom) and the book is over and done with by page 186, with Jared and Christabel happily marrying.

*pauses*

With $600 million to work with, you'd think Christabel would hire some bodyguards are something if she was so afraid her child would be kidnapped. But Christabel doesn't want her daughter growing up a "designer-clad little miss", so she instead hides out in a caravan on an Australian beach. There's some good logic for ya!

*unpauses*

All throughout the book, even before they do the deed, Christabel refers to Jared as "The Pleasure King". She even refers to herself as the Pleasure King's Bride", and no one finds this strange. I don't know about the men in y'alls lives, but if I started referring to the DH as "the Pleasure King" in a non-ironic manner, he'd wonder what the hell was wrong with me.

If all this weren't enough, there's a bit of cultural insensitivity/boderline racism thrown in for good measure! The King family has an 80 year old Chinese housekeeper named Vikki Chan (and she is always referred to by both names in the book, which annoys me for some reason) who has been with the family for three generations. She's a fabulous cook, even making the family eat all their meals with chopsticks, so they can fully appreciate her mad skillz. Vikki Chan is the fount of all knowledge and wisdom, popping in at the most random of times to give much needed sage advice.

She's also a pimp.

She knows everything that goes on with the family, and happily arranges things so she can take care of Christabel's daughter, thereby allowing Jared and Christbel to get it on without having to worry about being interrupted.

On Goodreads, I gave the book one star. The books was just dumb and boring. The character and plot development were pretty non-existent. There wasn't even any turgid nipples or throbbing loins to laugh at! ;D This is supposed to be part of a series featuring the King Brothers. ("The Cattle King's Mistress" and "The Playboy King's Wife" being the other two. Isn't the author extremely clever with that play-on-words of their last name??!?!?) Sadly, I felt the need to seek out these other books, and I have put in a hold request at the library. They should be arriving any day now. ;)